That "S" On Your Chest

Updated: Mar 29, 2019

Today I am giving you permission to take your cape off. Its ok I promise you, the world of your loved ones won’t completely crumble while you are off duty. So…, yes you have taken on extra responsibility at work to cover for a coworker. Oh yeah, you also told your cousin that you would babysit her children due to her working a second job. Now, don’t forget that you promised your bestie that you would be there every grueling step of the way as she plans her wedding, too. Meanwhile, every other aspect of your life has not paused or waned. No worries, I am here to help you receive your life (figuratively speaking) and let you know that playing the energizer bunny will surely make you one resentfully chick. Many of us are people pleasers rather we want to admit it or not. If you never take any “me, myself and I” time your close relationships will soon feel the brunt of it. Being there for your love ones is a logical expectation and part of your responsibility in that relationship. Nevertheless, I promise you, it is ok to choose yourself sometimes. Well, even most times. When your load is heavy and you are looking forward to those two seconds of solitude it’s better to decline a commitment than do it and be utterly pissed about doing so. Trust me no one who truly loves you will cut you off for taking time for yourself. On the other hand, your side eye combined with the verbal jabs you will throw, will eventually leave your loved one feeling some type of way. It is definitely possible to have the best of both worlds in our relationships. The first step in reclaiming your quality time with self, is to set healthy boundaries with those around you. You will do this by assisting them only when it’s not at the expense of your own livelihood. For example, you can’t provide groceries for a neighbor and not have food in your own refrigeration. Next, we must analyze if the people we are pouring in to, actually contribute anything to our lives. If not, I’m not saying cut them off, but we love some people better from afar. Enabling a person is not a healthy way to express love, being honest and supporting that person in figuring things out on their own is a healthy expression of love. Lastly, if you are always inclined to be the person to swoop in and save every one’s day, take a second to identify what your motive is. If you are doing things for others to over compensate for other relationships in their lives or because you were the cause of a bruise in the relationship in the past, you should work towards resolving that underlying issue. When you are as fly, loving, and considerate as we are, it is very easy to find yourself always on the giving end of the relationship equation. We want to see everyone around us living to the best of their potential but the bulk of that doesn’t have to fall on our shoulders. When we reach this realization it behooves us to become proactive and correct the situation before we end up being reactive, and that’s never cute. Besides, we only want to use that “S” on our chest for the good of mankind.