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Updated: Apr 11, 2019

Even as we strive to remain positive and enjoy the ride that our life takes us on, we reach moments in which we wish we were in a different place. Recently, I spent my lunch break at the park, eating and contemplating on the different options I have in dealing with current challenges. In my mind the simplest options seemed to be those not available to me. Such as, someone to do all of the manual housework I have been putting off, and do it free of charge. Even maybe, a husband to cover my bills for the next ten years so I can pay Sallie Mae off, in all pennies, after my “kick rocks” song and dance. Right on cue I noticed a woman in my line of vision. One of those “Suzy homemaker” types with a “blinged” out ring finger, having a picnic lunch with her two small children. As a single woman with no children I was tempted to think out loud “It must be nice to be a “kept” woman with a cute family”. I immediately noted the error in that thought and then my mind began to wonder (as it usually does). I didn’t know that woman, her man, her children, her life, or her situation! I’m certain that there has been a moment when she has seen a single woman prancing around all free and living it up and thought “It must be nice not to have anyone else to worry about”. This short moment in my life reminded me that it I easy for us to have a positively skewed perception of someone else’s reality. However, it becomes more and more apparent everyday that we all have our own set of issues that come with the territory of our lifestyles. Perhaps, down playing other people’s issues make us feel better about our struggle. Maybe its envy. It could even be hate. Whatever it is, none of us has time for it!!! Each day most of us get up, dress ourselves up and walk out into the world, looking like close to perfect examples of our perspective lifestyles. The reality is we are all flawed, smudged and sometimes even broken beings. Every day, we encounter and interact with people who are broken and barely able to hold themselves together, but they look beautiful and unbothered. The peace in this is that we are all hopefully striving towards wholeness. Let’s not convent other peoples lifestyle. We can make the choice to be content in our own and have an appreciative curiosity for the lives of others. When dealing with the people we are closest to, we must acknowledge that you can empathize with someone even if you have no concept of their issue. Meaning you can be open to someone’s plight and put yourself in their shoes even though you have never shared their experience. For instance, I have a friend with multiple children, who is attempting to establish herself professionally and has minimum student loan debt. I on the other hand, have no children, am established in my career and owe a million dollars (well it feels like a million to me) in student loans. Looking at the two scenarios, neither one of us is better than the other. She knows the joy of being someone’s mommy, I don’t. I know the joy of professionally development, she doesn’t. She has a few dollars to pay Sallie May back, I don’t. I have to pay Sallie Mae back all of the dollars, she doesn’t. We both have something the other aspires to have or not have, but respect the beauty of the other person’s existence. When I have children she will be the one I call for advice, if she has questions about career development she can call me. Leading me right into my point. Instead, of negating other’s people’s struggles we should use the experience(s) we do have, to be of assistance, and pray that they can do the same. We get through and around life’s boomerangs and dodge balls because of the support we get from one another. Let’s be more supportive and less dismissive. Poo hits the fan, rather we are single, married, have children, no children, in school, work a job, gay, straight, broke, rich, you get the point. Just needed to remind you, despite what Beyoncé said, we are all flawed and we woke up like this.


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